Buying Fence Of Your Choice
Every choice we make may be the critical one that could change the course of our own lives. In the small decisions like what we need for breakfast or the clothing, we get to the big choices like what profession we pursue and the partner we choose, and each decision in between affects our quality of life. Making decisions, particularly in this time of vast choices, is often a painful and hard procedure. We fear the results and are fearful of the unknown. We wonder if this is actually the”best” option and frequently hold out for this”perfect” choice for such a long time, that we end up staying exactly where we’re, in limbo.
As many of you know, 1 instance of a big decision in my life was my choice to go to North Carolina. The initial decision to move was easy as my husband and I knew we needed a better quality of life. The next decision was to proceed. That took more as we identified what”better quality of life” meant to us. That decision was followed by many smaller decisions such as which places to see when to put our home on the market, which realtor to use when to tell our employers we were leaving, which specific community we wanted to live in, and the list continues. Was the process simple? Not always. Can it be painful? Occasionally it had been. So what kept us going? Our desire was strong; we understood what we wanted and most importantly, why we wanted it!
Making decisions, big and little, is like exercising. Our”decision muscles” grow by consistent movement on an ongoing basis. The more decisions we make, the greater our confidence in creating them, and the quicker we make them.
What large and small choices have affected your life the most?
What happens when individuals do not decide? We sit on the fence between where we are and where we want to be. Although sitting on the fence remains a decision, it is among the few that brings inertia rather than action. When we avoid deciding, we feel trapped or in limbo. The idea of having to make the decision often consumes our thoughts and also adds pressure to our days. We often feel anger toward our existing situation since we know we do not want it anymore, but we’re still there. I certainly experience those feelings when I am on the fence. After I get off, a feeling of lightness comes over me – and the funny thing is, it does not matter which side of this fence I got off on. Only the action of picking revived my mind. Does this sound familiar? What would happen if either side of this fence – either choice was”right”?
When are you on the fence about a choice? How has it affected you?
Cathy is a customer of mine that came to me because she wanted help with building her business to complete the picture of her ideal life. You see several years ago she retired from a long career and moved to NC to eventually live the lifestyle she was longing for. She immediately attained many bits of it – a beautiful townhome in a fantastic community of like-minded women with a plethora of activities to keep her active and having fun. What was lost was the financial and time freedom she desired she got involved with a traveling company she believed in and became an agent.
She had been enthused about the business model and the benefits she would become instantly in the form of discounted travel. But soon she got stuck and wrapped up on the fence, teetering between two lives. One one side of the fence was the life she was living these last few years working in a part-time occupation she loved, but financially she was not where she wanted to be. On the opposite side of the fence has been the potential for financial freedom, but fear was maintaining her stuck. You see, she had been uncomfortable speaking about her business when she met new people for fear of”bothering them”.
When speaking through, she accomplished two important things: that sitting on the fence had been causing greater anxiety compared to the anxiety of jumping into her business; this business could be a boon to others (instead of a hassle ) to be provided an opportunity to live a lifestyle they want. To eliminate the weapon, Cathy needed to make a decision once and for all. To accomplish this, she revisited her vision of the lifestyle she desired and it became clear that she would forever regret not going after her dream of financial freedom – so she picked! Now, Cathy is fully dedicated to establishing her business and going after the lifestyle she knows is potential for her – and she is turning into a model to her potential clients of what’s possible when we commit to something we believe in – ourselves!
What is one of the success stories?
How can we best make decisions? Concentrate on your values, what matters most to you. For me the value was the beautiful environment, for Cathy it was financial freedom. These values served as our”why” as we were making our decisions. Attempt to feel great. For most of us, being in the fencing doesn’t feel good. We might experience frustration, stuck-ness, boredom, or fear. After we choose, we experience a burden lifted that’s really freeing. All decisions can have good results, it all depends on how you look at them. Follow your instincts. Focus on your gut reactions, that deeper understanding that we all have but often ignore. Give yourself a deadline. Determine by when you may decide, no matter what. For me, I gave myself a deadline of spring to give me enough time to sell my house and proceed in front of a new semester started at the university I worked. Let go of”ideal”. When we hold out for that”ideal” choice, we wind up staying in the same place, often for years! Establish your”best” and go for it!